I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
