saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
