its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
