went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize