do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
