I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
