You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
