found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She bit a glass in half.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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