I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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