Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You've changed since you got that strap on
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
