Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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