The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
