I smell stomach acid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
