My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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