I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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