Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize