my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How external is "for external use only"?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
