The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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