i may or may not be watching the land before time
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
