real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
