thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I could fuck to npr.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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