I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
