I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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