The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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