I must be too annoying 4 u.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
