Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
