Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
