This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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