Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i think i just lost a toe
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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