if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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