I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
