I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
