you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
