I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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