She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
