Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
