we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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