He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
