well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
