no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
