You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
