i permit you to call me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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