Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
