I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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