There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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