Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize