I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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