well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
