He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
