I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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