it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You are the jesus of drinking
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
