I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize