that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Buhtt sex?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
