But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
