come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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