All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
