there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
