even my farts smell like vagina
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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