I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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