Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
