yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
