So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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