He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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