It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
