You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
