Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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