where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize