i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
