she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
