Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
