obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
