Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
