i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
