he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
