Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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