omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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