You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
