Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
