his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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