I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
