New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
