i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
