Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
