How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
