Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
